in general i’m pretty good at letting people go but siGH SOMETIMES I MISS CERTAIN PEOPLE SO MUCH like this one guy i used to be super close with. :( we talked on daily basis for couple of years, about anime, about politics, about anime, about porno, about anime, about people, about anime, about art, about everything.
but then he went all “why am i the only one doing the work here” and developed some kind of crush on me (EVEN THOUGH WE BOTH HAD GIRLFRIENDS) and it just went weird and awkward and i don’t know what to do with people who like me like that, so we kinda fell apart.
and even tho at the end it was mostly awkward and upsetting, i still sometimes miss him and i’m still kinda bitter that he went and ruined our thing with his stupid crush, even though i know it wasn’t his fault lmao. but still.
srsly tho where is my hannibal fashion au
i do that sometimes too maybe it’s like a defense mechanism or somethin. 0o
i…. i feel this so much
TAZA WHAT ARE YOU my soulmate or what
I don’t know if it helps at all probably not but I could maybe kill to look like you.
haha yeah, it doesn’t help like i’d hope it would, but i’m always happy to hear that someone likes my looks… i mean, i know in some way that i am by some standards nice-looking, but my subjective experience of being nice-looking goes against it and no matter how much i hear that i’m nice-looking, it doesn’t actually change that experience because the reason i feel not-nice-looking is just between my ears. NEVERTHELESS, it’s still nice thing to hear so thank!
“What scares you?” [ x ]
like it’s funny how most of my irl friends think i’m this super confident, probably even arrogant and maybe a little bit intimidating guy and when i say “i’m actually very insecure” they just go “oh sure you are”. and one of my friends actually thought couple of years ago i’m a narcissist??? which is just. weird. like. i don’t know. but somehow i just go into this mode around people when i act in an overly confident and egoistic way even though i’m scared to death??? BUT IT’S WEIRD because really i’m just scared of everyone and super insecureeeee i don’t know why i act like that, it’s just some kind of defence mechanism i guess
ok i rly need to get out or i could go on for the whole morning
ALSO HOW IT IS that whenever i glance at the mirror i’m like “wow looking pretty good aren’t you yes i love you too xxx” but then i start to look at my face and it goes to “well at least in this lighting” “well at least when you turn your head like that” “well at least if you’d comb your hair” “well at least if your skin was in a better shape” “darling i don’t know how to say this it’s not you but it actually is”
and then i just want to smash the only mirror i own and go out only when it’s dark and/or i’m wearing an iron man mask
yeeeet another sleepless night yeeet another grey morning yeeet another early morning walk
i hope it doesn’t rain (AGAIN) tho if it rains, at least no one else is out (i’m pretty sure all of my neighbors are made of sugar because whenever it rains the streets around here are practically deserted)